At the airport bookstore, there are only about a dozen freestanding shelves of books. It's Darwinian selection at its most brutal: only the most popular authors, the newest novels, and the most recognizable classics survive. You won't find the lesser known works of Oscar Wilde or Voltaire or even Hemingway — there isn't space for them. Jane Austen makes only the briefest appearance, and Edgar Allen Poe shows his face only at Halloween. There are no collections of poetry beyond Dr. Seuss.

　　There is, however, a whole rack of self help books.

　　Americans are obsessed with making ourselves better. Smarter. Thinner. You can buy books to improve your vocabulary. You can devour a stack of books that will teach you to work more efficiently, more ruthlessly, and claw your way to the top — and then you can read books on how to stop and smell the roses and enjoy your life more fully. There are even books that will teach you how to organize your closets.

　　All of these things dance around the essential truth: we want to be happy. We want to be loved. We want to find meaning in our lives and feel that our contributions make a difference.

　　This, then, is the Rusty Brain Guide: How To Be Happy.

　　Eat more cookies. Abstaining from a single cookie isn't going to make you look svelte and toned. Go on, eat some cookies. I recommend the double chocolate ones with chocolate chips inside.

　　Sing. In your car. In elevators. At the mall, especially at Crate & Barrel and Pottery Barn. In hospital corridors. Before important client meetings. When people give you that patronizing look, wink at 'em.

　　Make Popsicles.

　　Stay home on the weekend and disconnect your phone.

　　Bring a plastic straw to a fancy restaurant. Make loud gurgling sounds when you get to the bottom as you attempt to drink every last molecule of diet Coke.

　　Order the stuff on the menu that you've never heard of — like Gkaeng Cheud Bplah Meuk Yad Sai (Stuffed Squid Soup with Napa Cabbage or Squash).

　　Talk to strangers.

　　Collect something weird that isn't expensive but is relatively hard-to-find.

　　Wear odd hats in public places.

　　Amass a jar of coins. Bury them in your back yard. Draw a treasure map and give it to a friend.